The past few days have been utterly tiring– physically & emotionally. But good things come to those who wait, folks! Doc said Noah could very possibly be coming home on Sunday!!!

Noah lost several ounces and then gained almost all of them back. He is now 4 pounds and 5 ounces. He is very eagerly eating and latched on for the first time for nursing tonight. He has to take a bottle though so that we can watch his intake and be able to actually count ounces. So, I won’t nurse every time but have to pump and feed.

Anyhow, he was having a terrible time with his platelets dropping significantly every day. This was becoming more of a concern as he dropped below the doctors comfort zone and the doc worried about Noah bleeding too easily. So, the doc ordered a platelet transfussion on Wednesday evening. The platelets had to come from another town and couldn’t be prepared in time for him to receive them Wednesday, so they planned for starting them this morning. However, they took his platelet count this morning and his platelets had climbed significantly, allowing us to cancel the transfussion! WOOOOOO-HOOOooooo! The doctors were starting to wonder what was causing him to have lowering platelets– possile autoimmune diseases, marrow problems, etc. But now it doesn’t matter because they are climbing! Noah was taken off of oxygen for a spell and did very well without it until he’d cry or eat, and then his oxygen levels dropped too low. So they will try again tomorrow to take him off of the oxygen. He also is now out of an incubator since today they discovered that he is able to maintain his own heat. All of these milestones happened quite suddenly and definately put Noah on the road to home!

I’m so happy. I don’t remember praying this much in many years! I just love this child! He is such a treasure!

I wanted to update you all. Thanks so much for your thoughtful and kind comments, and mostly for your prayers! Hopefully life will soon slow down just a bit and allow me to catch up on reading blogs and posting in my own. I doubt life is about to “slow down” much with a newborn coming home any day now, huh? I’m guessing any blogging I’ll be doing will be with one arm because the other is full, and at all of the zombie hours of the night. I look forward to that!

I never knew how hard it was for the women who had to leave their new baby at the hospital when he needed extra care that she couldn’t quite provide. I never knew that longing to just swoop him up from the nurses and love away his ailments and sickness and weakness, and curse their needles, medicines, and hurried touches. Nor have I known what it was like to love someone so intensely that is so fragile that I cannot physically adorn with kisses and hugs and touch. I haven’t whispered ‘I love you’ this much in a 48 hour timeframe to anyone. Ever. Just because it makes me feel better. And because I mean it so intensely!

I am up every few hours wanting to be sleepless by his cries. I want to hear him call for me. I want to sooth him with my voice, and my arms, and my milk. I know that I need him right now more than he does me and I suppose I had never pondered that possibility before– the fact that I need my children more than they need me. It’s very true. They are my muse, my reason, my inspiration, my PURPOSE. And I am utterly humbled by this love. 

I know he will be strong soon, and that he will soon be home. And knowing that is enough for me. I will look forward to every small milestone that he acheives as they all add up to a healthy, strong baby Noah who gets to go home with his family. I am grateful for every inch of him and I will work to be peaceful in my waiting.

I miss him now. I am in a room a few feet from the nursery. I am supposed to be sleeping. But I can’t help this mommy thing that literally keeps calling me back to the side of his incubator– to stare longingly and wait.

I never knew what you mothers went through with babies in NICU. Some mothers with babes sicker than others but all knowing the same longing. I never knew, and now I do. It’s 1:05 a.m. and now I say prayers with you. And I say them for you and your little ones. I wish all the NICU little ones and their loving mommas well tonight.

Our sweet boy is here! Noah Quincy was born at 9:03 pm on Saturday, June 24th. He was born 5 weeks too soon, and weighed in at 4 pounds 8 ounces. He is a beautiful boy, and though very small he is already proving that he is a tough little man. I had a sudden onset of toxemia and a silent infection that was spreading to Noah– thusly causing the premature labor. It wasn’t until they tried unsuccessfully to stop labor and decided to let the birth happen that they found that my placenta had also abrupted. The amniotic fluid had blood in it and I began bleeding heavily moments before his birth. Once they stopped the magnesium used to slow labor, the birth happened in minutes– literally. The doctor barely had enough time to catch him! I held him for a moment and he was wisked off to ICU, Jeremy right by his side! Noah is a tough cookie though, so no fret! He is resilient and ready to fight his infection, build some platelets, put on a few ounces… and come home!! He’ll be in ICU until next weekend at least. Say a few prayers for him!

Finally seeing the face that goes with the little soul I’ve loved for so long!

“Hello, World! I’m here!”

The last few days have been ROUGH, people. I haven’t slept well, but can live with that. Thursday I woke up with this chest crushing feeling and some pretty hairy b.h. contractions. The contractions were not consistent though so I figured I wasn’t in labor. I ended up sleeping on the couch all propped on pillows because I figured out that the chest problem was really, REALLY bad heartburt or something. Sleeping part of the night with head all crooked on 10 billion pillows were probably to blame for the mind numbing neckache the next day. I still can’t seem to kick it.

This morning Jeremy drove the 2.5 hours to pick up our half of cow from the butchers in another town. I work with a couple of Ranchers and they sell hormone/drug free meat, which is just mouth watering. The down side is that the butcher is so far away. Anyways, I knew when he left that it would be my luck to go into labor while he was gone.

Guess what? Yea, it’s time. And he JUST got back from the butcher, by the skin on my teeth. I’ll keep you posted, or I’ll be back in a few to show pictures of our new baby! Wish us luck!