Bitch Ass Spiders
I could not possibly curse enough in this post. My home has been invaded and I am a little pissed about that. But, I am probably the biggest ninny in the world where bees and spiders are concerned…
This morning Bella was in our bedroom with me and discovered that under my curtains was a window that looked right out to daddy who was working on his truck. We always keep the window covered because it is right by our bed. She was lifting the curtains, laughing at daddy, and banging on the glass to keep his attention on her instead of the work he was doing. I let her do that long enough to make my bed and when I went to grab her out from under the curtains I looked down and saw a BLACK WIDOW crawling around on the curtain, just inches from my baby! Hell No, Bitch!
For those of you who are at peace with spiders, I already understand that the spider was probably trying to flee from my wild toddler who was disrupting her home. Whatever. But the bitch would have bit my baby in a heartbeat and I have issue with that. I yanked Bella up from the window, put her several feet away while I inspected the spider, and when I saw the hour glass I absolutely found EXCITEMENT in squashing her fat guts all over my curtains. I squished her and made a mad woman’s victory call while doing it! “Taaaaah-WANDAAaa!”
Then, tonite Jeremy came to me and said, “I didn’t want to tell you about this but I found a black widow in the hallway on the wall and I killed her.”
The exterminator is coming this week first thing. That was the 5th black widow we have found in the wide open where any of us could have been bitten. Nasty, mean ass buggers! I cannot co-exist with these critters. I can deal with the skunk who eats the dog food and lives under the shed. He’s actually kind of cute. Though he stinks terribly. I can live with the ant issue. I can even live with the daily man sized yellow jacket that sneaks in (”JEREMY, HELP!”) and buzzes around. But I CAN-NOT, CAN-NOT live with a black widow.
“Sleep well tonite in your warm cozy home, bitches. Tomorrow is a new day for you!”
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