“Yeah, yeah. Mastitis is for woosies. And cows.”

Uh. Yeah. The great karma monster came to visit Friday to forever humble me. I have mastitis. And PEOPLE! The boob is killing meeee! I thought that you were of the few I could share this story with, since you already know how much I like to talk about boobs. And boobies. And breastesses…

What kind of google traffic does one get using those words in their blog? You don’t wanna know…

Anyways, I finally called the doc on Saturday and told him about my flu like symptoms and the pissed off appearance of my left friend. He called in the antibiotics. I didn’t go get the pills because I was SURE I could fight it off All. By. My. Self. Thank you very much! Plus, I hate taking pills and try not to take them unless I’m dying. I waited until Sunday and the mastitis finally humbled me to the point of filling that prescription. I feel like hell, but hopefully will start feeling better soon. I think somehow my body communicates with Noah’s because he has slept wonderfully at night (#1 treatment for mastitis is lots of rest) and has nursed like a marathon man (#2 treatment for mastitis is nursing consistently and completely). 

This all started last week when the doctor (a man) told me not to nurse Noah yet, to keep pumping and feeding him bottles. He told me I could nurse him a couple times a day at the most. I decided to disregard his advice because I knew waiting to boot the bottles meant that he may never take to the breast (a woman would have known this). We had a few rough days but ended up really getting things down pat. Two days after getting it down I started getting chills, pain in left friend, feverish feeling (but temp never rose above 98.6), and just felt so sleepy and worn down. I’ll get over this. I’ll be ok. But I have a whole new respect for women who say they have mastitis. This shit sucks!

Thank you for letting me talk about boobs again. I was having with withdraws.

“Quit your whinin’ woman! I’m just here for the milk.”

Note: Lil’ Man is off the oxygen! Yayyyyy! He also weighed 7 pounds on Fridays visit to the doc! Yeah, he’s a beefcake!

I didn’t want to sound overly excited because then you might see what a dork I am. But now that the site visits have died back down to my faithful readers, I have to share with you my recent fame!

Right after Noah was born I was stuck in the hospital twidling my thumbs, feeling blue, reading blogs, and catching up on Mom’s Daily Dose by Amalah (who absolutely ROCKS in my book). I decided to drop Amalah an e-mail and suggest that she use the NICU experience as one of her topics on Mom’s Daily Dose. And what happened? She wrote me back! Whoa! I was psyched! It was reminiscent of the time I wrote Wil Wheaton when I was 15 and he sent me a signed autograph and letter back! Or that feeling I got in 9th grade when the popular girl asked to copy MY homework! She could have asked anyone but she chose ME! Because, OBVIOUSLY, the popular chick wanted to be my friend and OBVIOUSLY Amalah does too!

Anyways. Yes. I am 30 years old and I am someone’s fan. I got all stupid & excited that Amalah wrote me back! Wheee! She not only wrote me back but within a few days, this is what she wrote, and BOY did my dorky little site get some visitors!

And you would think the warrior chick upstairs would put some damn clothes on since we were having so many guests, but nooooo. She wants her boobs all hanging out and she had to wear those weird skeleton underwear. Show-off! Geesh.

I’ve tried unsuccessfully to think of something creative or funny or interesting to write about, but I’m. just. so. sleeeeeepy, y’all! Forgive me, please! During Noah’s midnight feedings, I spin ideas in my head but can you imagine what kind of sleep deprived weirdness I think of? Like you guys care about my hair dilemma, the little black dress that I really want to help motivate my weight loss, or how pissed I am with the United States Post Office for losing my adorable Shutterfly birth announcements!

Speaking of my lack of humor, one of Bella’s daycare teachers said something rather strange to me the other day. It was the first time she had seen Noah and the first thing out of her mouth? “Wow, he is so white to be a black boy.”

What? Excuse me? Are you retarded?

Well she’s only 20 years old, a very sheltered gal, and obviously has about as much common sense as my big toe– But still! What a goob! The next day she saw me again and came up to me to tell me how she just couldn’t believe Noah was going to get darker like Bella and that she had to tell all of her roomies about how this black child was born with such white skin.

No, I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t terribly offended by what she said and I’m sure she meant no malice. It just never ceases to amaze me how silly people are.

Anyhoooo, Noah had another oxygen test last Friday and didn’t pass, so he will be on oxygen another 7 days. But, he did weigh in at 6 pounds and 5 ounces! I actually look at him now and think how BIG he is! Momma’s Big Boy!

And because my sweet fam is more entertaining than I am: some photos of their adorableness!

When I was a kid, I grew up near Ft. Bragg, N.C. and every year the base had a HUGE fair. It was the most awesome thing to happen to our town since the year before when it came. Everyone and their brother’s uncle was there. I could ride every ride at the fair without it phasing my stomach a bit until I was about 14, when not only was I too cool to ride rides (it might mess up the big bangs I spent hours teasing) but I would get sick beyond words just watching the rides whirl and twirl. 

I remember the lovely smell of fried elephant ears wofting through the air and the less fond sound of Metallica and Guns N Roses pumping on huge speakers. Some of the carnival workers were scary and I remember them making gross remarks to the young gals waiting in lines to get onto the rides. Yeah, as if any young gal would look at one of those guys and say, “Yea baby, I’m gonna drop out of junior high and join the carnival so that I can make babies with your toothless ass!” I don’t think that it works like that, but I guess you can’t blame them for trying. I suppose I’d be missing a few teeth myself if I could get my hands on elephant ears every. single. day!

The carnival came to my little town the other day and everyone stopped what they were doing to go. There were only about 8 rides, and Bella was too small for all of the little people rides. They did let her sit on the pink jeep though, and she was really happy about that!

Austin & Jeremy rode this ride. Jeremy got sick as hell afterwards. I’m not kidding, he even had to go to bed when we got home.

And, we can all thank the carni population for the loss of the goppy and sugary elephant ear, as they are now so conscientious of nutrition and dental care that you now have to settle for a flippin’ apple on a stick or a pickle (see picture below). WTF?! Next we’ll be eating tofu hotdogs and sliced celery sticks at baseball games. What’s the world coming to? How about granola and yogurt at the movies? Yummmm!