I thought it might be nice to show you my day through pictures once in awhile. I’d like to aim for doing this once a week.

Yesterday was an amazing day.

We started the day with a morning photo. If you start your morning with toast or a cup of coffee, you simply have it all wrong. Start it off with a photo!

We also painted the sidewalk. Every sidewalk should have paint. It’s beautiful! And better than a lovely & hip pair of Steve Madden heels is a shoeless foot with paint. It’ll be a real fad when it catches on. Paris Hilton wishes she could wear a pedicure this beautifully!

And do you think that Paris Hilton could eat jello while painting the sidewalk? Of course not! She’d get fat if she ate jello! But some people can eat jello all day long and still look beautiful!

After she painted I cleaned her up and fixed her hair. She loves it when I play with her hair. Did I tell you I was a beauty school drop out? No kidding! This is the potential I had and threw it all away, People! The talent is wasted!

They say, “When kids get crabby, throw them in water.” Well, I didn’t exactly throw him, but he sure loves a nice Calgon moment! My little MerMan!

I caught my old man cheating on our South Beach Diet. Hmph! He ate sugar free ice cream. No big deal you say? He ate a freakin’ HALF-GALLON of sugar free ice cream! Besides the fact that the calories add up to a third ass cheek if I would have eaten it, he didn’t leave me any! I give birth to 2 beautiful children for him and he thanks me by eating our only guilt free snack!

But the day ended just as wonderfully as it started. How beautiful is this? A nice Grande Finale for a fantastic day!

I think it must be an American thing, but there are signs everywhere. It’s amazing that you can travel safely with all of the reading you have to do to get anywhere on the roads.

There are our billboards to read (though not so much in Colorado):

I see this sign everyday on my way to town:

Yeah? No kidding? Deer in Colorado? This pretty gal crossed the street right in front of my car last week. I had to stop and grab a picture of her. Good thing I wasn’t busy reading one of those pretty billboards when she ran out into the road!

There’s also this sign, which is sort of scary. This sign really is where it should be because for the following 1/4 mile there is a 700 ft. wall of loose rock that looks like it might slide at any moment. It’s so scary that I was not about to stand under it so that I could get a picture of it for you!

Here is one of the “Fallen Rocks”. I don’t know how well you can see it by the road, but it is half as big as a car and it had fallen out of a spot in the mountain that was about 500 feet up. Can you imagine how scared someone might have been if they were driving by when that happened? Yeesh! 

Sometimes the rocks fall in the road and the road crews come in and move them to the sides of the road.

And, there’s always the sign your friendly neighbor might hang to keep you from parking near their property line…

It works though. No one parks there. Would you mess with someone who puts a sign like that up? Never tempt an angry neighbor, man! Don’t even go there!

Do you see the freakin’ footprints on my stomach, chest, and face? Yes, I am a total woos. I cannot manage to put people in their place when it matters, cannot manage to say “No” once in awhile, cannot seem to quit being such a lush for everyone’s rudeness!

Today I was flipped off by some Bitty who wanted to run a stop sign on MY time, almost t-boning MY fully paid off gas guzzler. Normally I might have gotten out of my car, puffed up like a peacock, and spewed words at her that would make her ears hurt. But I didn’t.

I also spent the whole day arguing with my tweenager who just. knows. everything. and. gets. on. my. nerves. with. his. incessant. sassiness. The sassiness is totally unfounded because actually he knows so little on the subject he claims endless knowledge on. Seems funny to me that someone who can’t seem to remember to make his bed and brush his teeth can insist he knows more than I do on the subject of things like cooking dinner, saving money, cleaning house. This child is the sweetest, most awesome kid I know. But damn! I could totally do without the arguing. Ya know what I’m saying?

At the end of this day that seemed like “Walk on Stephanie Day”, I decided to brave the grocery store with my 3 kids. By the way, Noah is colicky beyond words and has gotten worse over the last 2 weeks. One toddler, one colicky babe, one know-it-all teenager. In a crowded grocery store. Yeah, I am a glutton.

The shopping went splendidly for the first time. No sweating, no embarrassment, no having to use the dressing room to nurse a colicky baby. Awesome. Three hundred bucks and two shopping carts later, and I’m done. Groovy!

I was walking to the car when a juandiced looking man walked up to me. The man appears able bodied, about 40 years old, not overweight, limping, or otherwise obviously physically handicapped. He looked like he might be able to bag groceries or fetch carts for the very supermarket he was begging at. He had decent clothes and only needed a haircut and shower. 

I knew right away what he wanted and normally I’d be digging in the bottom of my purse for change as soon as I saw him coming. But after spending $300 on groceries, I was in no mood. I OBVIOUSLY have 3 children to feed. I OBVIOSLY could use a drink myself! But you don’t see me trying to make that anyone else’s problem!

Not this time, Buddy! Find yourself another sucker!

Homeless Drinker: “Hey. Can you spare some change; I’m hungry?”

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Steph: “I think I have a dollar.” (Rummages through wallet) “I have a five. Here you go.” (Feeling like a big SUCKER!)

Homeless Drinker: “Thanks.” (He walks away and goes to another woman pushing her cart to her car.)

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Homeless Drinker: Probably scored more money in 2 hours than I make in a whole day.

Steph: Earned a medal for being the biggest Softy this side of the Mississippi. Woosy.

My “Lady Lumps” (ummm, stupid and yet likeable song) don’t exactly look like Fergie’s, so I’ve been trying to do something about that. I started out running/walking a mile a day and doing 200 sit-ups (4 sets of 50). This didn’t feel like enough. So after 2 weeks and not feeling progress, I bumped it up to running/walking for 3 miles and doing 350 sit-ups (5 sets of 70). I’ve never been too athletic, but I was always pretty thin. Until I had two children back to back, not giving my body a chance to bounce back completely from the first pregnancy before I was stretching it back out for the second. I didn’t exercise during my pregnancies because I was always afraid I’d cause another miscarriage. So, I gained. Now I have to shed it. This isn’t the fun part!

Anyways, after 2 weeks of the 3 miles and 350 sit-ups, I still feel ABSOLUTELY NO PROGRESS! I haven’t lost A. Single. Pound. I have been r-e-l-i-g-i-o-u-s about the exercise, even doing it on the weekends! That’s a month of trying and getting nowhere at all. This is so discouraging because I don’t like to exercise!

So, I am down to my last resort! The lady lumps must go. They aren’t so lovely. I’ve started the Southbeach Diet (yes, it is safe for breastfeeding mothers with Doc’s OK if you skip Phase 1, which I’ll gladly do). I’m only 2 days into the damn diet and all I want is a stinking peanut butter and honey sandwich with a tall glass of ice cold milk. Please!? Just one!? For me!?

I never want to teach Bella anything but to love herself, her body, the way she is. I will share with you how that went terribly wrong for me once upon a time, but not all in one post. I’ll follow-up later with “the rest of the story.” Until then, wish me luck. I’m already not having much fun, but am determined to make the best of it. Know some good Southbeach recipe’s?

Me “pre-Bella” (I got pregnant 2 months later), Feb 2004, 130 pounds

  Hard to tell from the pic (all my photos are on another computer) but I was almost too thin. I am 5′10″, so 135-140 is a good weight for me.

     This is when Bella was 6 months old. I had lost almost all of the weight I put on during my pregnancy (50 pounds!). I was about 140 there. I felt healthy & great. I was a size 6/8.

 That’s me now, 152 pounds and a size 10/12. I want to get to 135-140 again. Yeesh, I have some work to do!