She’s only human, but damn…
… she goofed up BIG! On stage! In front of the President, Tom Hanks, AND Dolly Parton. She messed up! Nanny, nanny, NAAAAnny!
Yep, I’m envious. Yes, I wish I had a fantastic body like hers. Yes sireee, I’m green with jealousy. I admit it! But still, y’all! She flubbed! Jessica Simpson doesn’t flub (she’s perfect, don’t ya know?)! And no, it wasn’t cute in my opinion.
That gal has never worked a day in her damn life and I know that because I saw the episode of Newlyweds where she admitted she had never washed clothes before! What does the gal know about workin’ 9 to 5!? Also, the words of the damn song aren’t that difficult, Jess! We southern girls have loved IDOLIZED Dolly since the beginning of time, way back when she was a HHH sized bra. Did you really have to embarrass us all by flubbing the words and needing a teleprompter to show you the way? And the chicken cluckin’ head thing? At least Britney can dance. The belly holding thing you did? Rehearse, girlfiend, and you won’t have a nervous stomach, or need to fidget, or need a teleprompter, or have to cluck your neck.
I suppose it makes me happy to see one of “them” mess up. But really I’m just mad that she calls herself a Southern Belle and then flubs up the southen working woman’s theme song. Come on! It’s insulting!
And Jess spends a lot of time with/around Bush. I know she’s a Republican, but I bet she’s his Marilyn Monroe. Ok, maybe not. He’s kind of an asexual kind of guy. Kennedy wasn’t, he was pretty hott. That’s just an opinion. Maybe Jess is really one of his stem cell, test tube creations so he has to follow her around like a mad scientist. Or perhaps she’s his fembot– secret sevice protector and terrorist annihilator. Yes, those jumblies are so large as to house automatic machine guns and a few grenades. There’s got to be some reason they are always in the same places. By ”they” I mean George and Jess, not her boobs. Of course the boobs are in the same places at the same times. Geesh. Get your head out of the gutter, enough about her boobs (Oh, Gosh. What kind of Google search traffic will I get now?). Anyhow, she just can’t admit their love affair because how cool would she be if she admitted going from this to that. Yeah, not very, huh?
Anyways, enough about that. Watch this if you haven’t already…
Posted by: stepherz | 12-27-2006 | 02:12 PM
Posted in: Just Me | Writer's Block
Dammit! I can’t watch it right now. I’m at work. I CAN’T WAIT to see it!!!!! How could she?
PS: I WILL get Dollywood some day.
Aw man!! I have no idea what you’re talking about but the thought of seeing Jessica Simpson mess up was too good to resist, so I click on the link and YouTube have removed the video!!! NO FAIR!!
Anyway…loved this post! I had no idea she follows Bush around…I guess someone has to right?!
Awww… in her defense (not that I’m real big on defending her… I mean, I knew all the words to 9 to 5 when I was 6)it looks like she’s wearing a corset top dress… which corsets aren’t exactly forgiving in the breathing department if you aren’t used to them. That’s why all the jokes in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
At least she’s human, how many other pop divas do you know that have done ProActive super crazy acne commercials?
AND… at least she was wearing underwear.
Yeah, the ProActive commercials were pretty humble. I don’t dislike Jessica. I just needed something to write about and there it was– Jessica Simpson making a mistake.
When Ashleigh Simpson had her on stage mishap, I came to her rescue every chance I got. I think she’s cuter though. I bet she can wash her own laundry too. She doesn’t seem to me to have been as priveledged as Jessica. But really, Jessica not being able to wash clothes is her momma’s fault. A mom should teach her daughter how to do things like that. Geesh.
Oh yes, thank goodness she has enough class to wear underwear. Really comparing her to Britney is just wrong. There’s no one quite like Brit!
“they rerecorded it for the tv broadcast”… oh my! So nobody got to see the real flub? Thanks for the link… looks like all her star friends were forgiving. What a mess she made! I don’t care how nervous you are, you either know the song or you don’t. Some kind of fan she is. Dolly should have been crying.
LOL the entire time I read this!!!
And I like Ashlee A LOT more than Jessica. Ashlee writes her songs and can dance. Jessica… well, she’s just blonde with big boobs. Plus, as a younger sister to a perfect older sister, I must defend ALL Jan Brady’s of the world!!
Love your blog. Thanks for visiting mine.
I saw it. I hope Dolly just assumes she is dumb….Actually they say she really is dumb. Dumb and beautiful. I also saw a segment that said her dress started falling down and she was afraid those big ta-tas of hers were going to hit the stage and that is what threw her off and why she was holding her stomach but I think alot of folks aren’t going for that cover. It doesn’t look like they are falling.
As for Dolly, who couldn’t love Dolly? She really is just the best!