Comments on: Sleeping arrangements http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/ “In the South, perhaps more than any other region, we go back to our home in dreams and memories, hoping it remains what it was on a lazy, still summer’s day twenty years ago.”—-Willie Morris Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:07:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: jbg http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1412 jbg Tue, 02 Jan 2007 18:14:49 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1412 It is someone else's "norm" that says your child is not supposed to sleep with you. To echo what everyone else has already said - you just do what feels okay whenever you're ready for it. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the crying - I cannot listen to it, no matter how tired I am or how badly I want my little one to do something. If she's not ready and she really cries - I will give in and I don't care what anyone else says about it. I've been lucky that she adjusted to her own crib fairly easily. She was in the co-sleeper in our room for the first four months, then I had to move her out simply because she really got too big for it (I have the mini). The switch didn't phase her much at all - but it was really hard on me at first, both because I missed her and because I had to go a lot further in the middle of the night to feed and comfort her when she woke up. She's still waking once or twice in the night (just over 7 months old) and some people tell me that I should wean her off of that middle of the night feeding. I don't think it's going to happen unless she does it herself though because I can't really do "tough love" anyway, and it's definitely harder in the middle of the night when I'm exhausted and I know that I could stop her crying instantly and have her back asleep in fifteen minutes if I just feed her! You're doing awesome, and Noah can only benefit from all the love you give him! It is someone else’s “norm” that says your child is not supposed to sleep with you. To echo what everyone else has already said - you just do what feels okay whenever you’re ready for it. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the crying - I cannot listen to it, no matter how tired I am or how badly I want my little one to do something. If she’s not ready and she really cries - I will give in and I don’t care what anyone else says about it.
I’ve been lucky that she adjusted to her own crib fairly easily. She was in the co-sleeper in our room for the first four months, then I had to move her out simply because she really got too big for it (I have the mini). The switch didn’t phase her much at all - but it was really hard on me at first, both because I missed her and because I had to go a lot further in the middle of the night to feed and comfort her when she woke up.
She’s still waking once or twice in the night (just over 7 months old) and some people tell me that I should wean her off of that middle of the night feeding. I don’t think it’s going to happen unless she does it herself though because I can’t really do “tough love” anyway, and it’s definitely harder in the middle of the night when I’m exhausted and I know that I could stop her crying instantly and have her back asleep in fifteen minutes if I just feed her!
You’re doing awesome, and Noah can only benefit from all the love you give him!

]]> By: meghan http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1246 meghan Mon, 01 Jan 2007 00:29:24 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1246 Oh, and... Happy New Year!! Oh, and… Happy New Year!!

]]> By: meghan http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1245 meghan Mon, 01 Jan 2007 00:28:43 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1245 Don't feel guilty, Momma! Xan is almost 8 months old and I think he's only slept a couple nights by himself in the co-sleeper (like, 2 inches away from me). I panicked a couple times when I woke up an he wasn't next to me. I'm a first time mom, with no history of loss... and I'm still as clingly to my son as he is to me. In the end, I'd much rather err on the side of giving too much physical love and closeness. Don’t feel guilty, Momma! Xan is almost 8 months old and I think he’s only slept a couple nights by himself in the co-sleeper (like, 2 inches away from me). I panicked a couple times when I woke up an he wasn’t next to me. I’m a first time mom, with no history of loss… and I’m still as clingly to my son as he is to me.

In the end, I’d much rather err on the side of giving too much physical love and closeness.

]]> By: Deana http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1143 Deana Sun, 31 Dec 2006 01:22:23 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1143 My sister is just like you. My niece who is 5 and Melanie and the baby sleep in the "big" bed. Her husband most often sleeps in the little girl's room. Her son Caleb actually does sleep in his own bed but he is 9 and I don't think they would all fit. Though he loves her lying in his room letting him fall asleep before he is left alone. I kid her that I would have been the mean cold mom- like your friend- that left them at 12 weeks alone to sleep so I could get mine. I can't say really what I would've done but I just can't see my personality letting them stay too long in the bedroom with me. Maybe it is because mom never let me sleep with her. Even when my dad worked 3rd shift and it was just us. Anyway, I think it shows amazing patience and love and sacrafice on your side to put their needs first always...and I say that as a good thing. They are lucky to have such a loving mother. You wait and wean when you are ready! My sister is just like you. My niece who is 5 and Melanie and the baby sleep in the “big” bed. Her husband most often sleeps in the little girl’s room. Her son Caleb actually does sleep in his own bed but he is 9 and I don’t think they would all fit. Though he loves her lying in his room letting him fall asleep before he is left alone.

I kid her that I would have been the mean cold mom- like your friend- that left them at 12 weeks alone to sleep so I could get mine. I can’t say really what I would’ve done but I just can’t see my personality letting them stay too long in the bedroom with me. Maybe it is because mom never let me sleep with her. Even when my dad worked 3rd shift and it was just us.

Anyway, I think it shows amazing patience and love and sacrafice on your side to put their needs first always…and I say that as a good thing. They are lucky to have such a loving mother. You wait and wean when you are ready!

]]> By: Stephieface http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1121 Stephieface Sat, 30 Dec 2006 13:49:17 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-1121 Oh the "where does the kiddo sleep?" trials and tribulations. I remember them fondly.... NOW.... THEN.... Hoooo Boy. When the Mister and I first started coupledom, I had to adjust to the fact that when we became a "we" that our we equaled 3 not two. Alot of times Zach (then 4) would sleep in our bed. That is until Sam came along.... Sam was a co sleeper until halfway thru this year (he's now 4) and weaning him from the bed was tough (not for us... for him). Then TJ came along and we had to take drastic measures since Zach, Sam, and TJ all wanted to lie about in our bed with us. That's asking alot of a queen sized bed! :D Point is, do it when YOU are ready.... but DO do it before he gets old enough to start stealing the covers and pillows. It may mean putting his crib in your room and by your bed then slowly moving him away as he gets accustomed. It may mean having to listen to him cry. It may mean having to wait until he's old enough to pick out his own toddler bed and sheets and WANTS to sleep away from you. It may mean having to give him a tshirt you wore earlier in the day to sleep with as a blankie because he will smell you with him as he sleeps. Whatever it is you have to do, do what works... no matter how weird it sounds to other people. Oh the “where does the kiddo sleep?” trials and tribulations. I remember them fondly…. NOW…. THEN…. Hoooo Boy.

When the Mister and I first started coupledom, I had to adjust to the fact that when we became a “we” that our we equaled 3 not two. Alot of times Zach (then 4) would sleep in our bed. That is until Sam came along…. Sam was a co sleeper until halfway thru this year (he’s now 4) and weaning him from the bed was tough (not for us… for him). Then TJ came along and we had to take drastic measures since Zach, Sam, and TJ all wanted to lie about in our bed with us. That’s asking alot of a queen sized bed! :D
Point is, do it when YOU are ready…. but DO do it before he gets old enough to start stealing the covers and pillows. It may mean putting his crib in your room and by your bed then slowly moving him away as he gets accustomed. It may mean having to listen to him cry. It may mean having to wait until he’s old enough to pick out his own toddler bed and sheets and WANTS to sleep away from you. It may mean having to give him a tshirt you wore earlier in the day to sleep with as a blankie because he will smell you with him as he sleeps. Whatever it is you have to do, do what works… no matter how weird it sounds to other people.

]]> By: my float http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-995 my float Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:25:15 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-995 PS. Did you get my email a while back? The first email I sent you bounced back, so I'm not sure if the second ever made it to you. PS. Did you get my email a while back? The first email I sent you bounced back, so I’m not sure if the second ever made it to you.

]]> By: my float http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-994 my float Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:24:21 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-994 You're a great mum...and it will come when you're ready. Some little ones just need more comfort than others. My son sleeps in his own bed but wakes up during the night and eventually sleeps in our bed. I'm used to it now (he's almost three.) I just figure that the time will come when he won't want that closeness anymore, so I'll cherish it while I can. And given I'm not sure if there will be any more children (sob), I'm quite happy to make the most of the one I have. Don't beat yourself up or feel you need to justify yourself. For whatever reason, you need Noah and he needs you, and at the moment, that means co-sleeping. Just know that you are a great mother. You’re a great mum…and it will come when you’re ready. Some little ones just need more comfort than others. My son sleeps in his own bed but wakes up during the night and eventually sleeps in our bed. I’m used to it now (he’s almost three.) I just figure that the time will come when he won’t want that closeness anymore, so I’ll cherish it while I can. And given I’m not sure if there will be any more children (sob), I’m quite happy to make the most of the one I have.

Don’t beat yourself up or feel you need to justify yourself. For whatever reason, you need Noah and he needs you, and at the moment, that means co-sleeping. Just know that you are a great mother.

]]> By: Gina http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-993 Gina Sat, 30 Dec 2006 05:51:52 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-993 Every baby is different, every parent is different. Don't beat yourself up. If you need to be close to your son, he will follow your lead. If a parent needs space, the baby will follow that too (in most cases). I was and still am a parent that NEEDS my sleep, so I will try just about anything to get my child to comfort himself, put himself to sleep and sleep for long intervals. Sadly this week he's teething and dealing with a cold, so what else am I to do but nurse him more, hold him more and be up in the night more. Being a mom is a tough job but oh so rewarding. You are doing just fine. Hold him close while you still can. I love this photo of Noah. Reminds me of my own sleeping angel. Every baby is different, every parent is different. Don’t beat yourself up. If you need to be close to your son, he will follow your lead. If a parent needs space, the baby will follow that too (in most cases). I was and still am a parent that NEEDS my sleep, so I will try just about anything to get my child to comfort himself, put himself to sleep and sleep for long intervals. Sadly this week he’s teething and dealing with a cold, so what else am I to do but nurse him more, hold him more and be up in the night more.

Being a mom is a tough job but oh so rewarding. You are doing just fine. Hold him close while you still can. I love this photo of Noah. Reminds me of my own sleeping angel.

]]> By: Tori:) http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-991 Tori:) Sat, 30 Dec 2006 04:53:11 +0000 http://stepherz.com/2006/12/29/sleeping-arrangements/#comment-991 I have the same problem with my son... except he's 3 years old. :) I have the same problem with my son… except he’s 3 years old. :)

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