Remember my dilemma about whether I was going to go home in May for my cousin’s wedding and to see my family again? Well, I said I’d let you know what I decided but you can probably tell by seeing our new deck that I decided to use my travel money towards not going. I had decided, after so much thinking, to use that money towards something we’d enjoy for many years rather than just a 5 day trip, 2 of which would have been hopping planes. It seemed silly to spend nearly $1300 to just have 3 days of visiting. It was a really hard choice, because I haven’t seen much of my family in about 12 years or so.
I decided once the deck was up that I made the right decision. We’ve enjoyed many nice dinners and playtime on the deck so far. But, I got the wedding invite in the mail the other day and started feeling a bit blue about it. Not many opportunities come up for the whole family to be in one place at the same time, and I’ve spent so many years wishing I had more of a connection there.
Then I got a call. I checked my voicemail a few days ago and there was a message from my dad. I immediately thought something bad had happened because my dad never calls me. I called him back and basically, to make a long story short, he’s going to help me out by paying for the plane ticket. This was going to cost me about $350-$400, so not having that cost makes this trip more of a possibility. My cousin offered to let me stay at her house for a few nights and my dad offered to let me stay at his home too. So I won’t have to pay for hotels. I was pretty sure that if I went I surely wouldn’t want to stay at my dad’s home just because I didn’t want the awkwardness and because I’m an adult now and all… Need my own space and place of being. But, I think I’ll humble myself and “throw myself to the wolves”, if you will. I’m sure all will go great, and maybe I’ll have some quality time with Dad.
I’ve been having just a teensy bit of restlessness about the trip already. I dread leaving my family and going to an unknown territory where I don’t wake up to my smiling, familiar faces every morning. I know that seems weird, because really, it’s only going to be for 5 days. Get over it! I know I won’t sleep so well there either because I have left my family for business trips with my old job and I just couldn’t sleep. I don’t sleep well in strange places, even when my fam is with me. So I made an appointment to see my doctor and get a few Ambien to help me with that. I’m really actually anti-medication, where it is safe to be. But I think this could be an exception to my opinions on medicating myself. I took Ambien just once before, and it was the evening before I gave birth to Bella. I was being induced early the next morning and the doctor thought it would be good for me to catch some real good zzz’s. It really helped me, I was out like a light and woke refreshed and ready to give birth, to a 10.5 pound baby no less.
So the only items I need for my trip are a dress (oh no, I have to go and shop) and a rental car. I found a rental car quite cheap, $95 for the 5 days. But this is the car:
Ummm. I’m almost 6 foot tall, do you think I can fit my arse in this thing? I mean, I’m all for being economical. But wrapping my legs around the steering wheel and stringing what’s left of my legs across the dashboard not only would be uncomfortable, but I think probably unsafe too. 
My best friend sent me an e-mail telling me about this mobile phone tracker. It’s pretty cool! The first thing I did was type Jeremy’s number into it…
I’ve never really been one to judge a book by its cover. Yes, I confess, I am like a Magpie and adore shiney, pretty things. But, the exterior of things just never meant that much in the big scheme. When we bought our house, it was just plain fugly. I saw her potential. I knew she’d shine. With a bit of elbow grease, some paint, our entire savings, a mortgage payment for 30 years, and a talented husband– this humble abode became quite a beautiful little home. It’s still a work in progress, of course. But we’ve come a long way from the shag carpets and funky neon green wall paint.
When we moved in, the dishwasher that was here was old and raggety. But it worked so well that the dishes looked spit shined. We replaced the fridge and stove because they weren’t working very well. But, the new stainless steel appliances looked funny next to this awful looking critter! I wanted the dang thing to die! I did! Shame on me for hating her so, just because she wasn’t pretty. Shame on me.
She died. Let us pause for a moment and remember her…
Hooooray! It made my day. She is gone. Hooray!
Ahem. I mourned her loss for two weeks. Mostly because I had to wash the fargin’ dishes by hand. Oh my goodness. By hand!
As fun as it is to finally have the appliances match, I also love to watch my husband work. There’s nothing like seeing your man crawl around on his belly for you. The Power… It is wonderful! Mwahh-ha-ha-haaaa.
Of course, if I can have the humbling experience of laboring with and pushing out his 10 and a half pound newborn daughter, I think I DESERVE The Power to make him crawl around on his hands and knees once in awhile. Don’t you agree?
I’m also teaching Bella how to crack the whip. She needs to know about The Power too. Just doing my job. No applause necessary.
Every night we do the same exact routine at 6:45. I bathe the babies, lather them in lotion while we sing and talk, put on jammies, tickle, read a book, and finally tooth brushing. Bella has decided that she hates having her teeth brushed and no matter what I do to try and make it fun and not forced, she fights me. So, the last couple of nights I have had to hold her head and brush her teeth while she screams and cries. I hate it! I admit I’m not the most patient woman on Earth by 7:30 at night, but I really have tried to be creative and sweet. Everyone has to brush their teeth and in this house, there is a minimum of twice a day on that. Top, bottom, tongue, and cheeks. No child of mine is going to breath dragon breath at me. Oh, no.
Anyways, she cried. She made a hoot about it. I carried her to bed crying and fussing. I put her on her pillow and started rubbing her back, as every night. She finally calmed. I sang Baby of Mine to her and her eyes grew heavy. I don’t know why, perhaps the guilt of our toothbrushing fiasco, but I looked down at her and I just couldn’t help wanting to hold her, rock her, have her grow heavy in my arms as she drifted off. She was already dozing, but I woke her up and asked her if I could rock her. She jumped right up with arms wide open. We sat on the floor and she melted right into me. She fell asleep within minutes, but I held her close, rubbed her face, and smelled her sweet curls for a good 30 minutes longer. She’s grown so big, but she’ll always fit perfectly and be welcome in my arms. It’s moments like that that I’m so glad to have more of now that I’m not working.
That’s the stuff we take with us when we leave. These are the moments I’ll hold close during my last breaths. I hope I can always be a sense of comfort for these children, and that we are close friends forever, long after they want to cuddle or be sung to.
Jeremy came looking for me last night because tucking the babes in doesn’t usually take too long. He found me on the Bella’s floor holding her and grabbed the camera. So sweet…
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And we can’t forget Photo Challenge this week (I haven’t done it for two weeks). April’s challenge is to take pictures of body parts…
