Do you know how much I’m loving this whole stay-at-home stuff? Love it! I have a clean house, my children are happy and loved, and I have time for making yummy bread in my new (sort of) yard sale bought bread machine! I’m so super psyched! There’s a loaf baking right now for dinner. Smells deeee-lish! And what’s this stay-at-home mommy making for dinner to go with that yummy, hot bread? Bbq ribs, mac-n-cheese casserole, baked beans, and a salad.
Of course I’ll be the one eating more salad than anything else. But, ya know, I’m happy to feed them the stuff they love. I only lost 1 pound this week with the Trimspa. But I’m alright with that since I got a visit from Aunt Flo and she tends to make me a few pounds heavier.
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I’m lacking tunes, y’all. I’m really wanting Sarah McLachlan, Edie Brickell, or the Cranberries. I can’t help but think that maybe one of you might have the CD and might be interested in doing a swap. I don’t have many CD’s that don’t have scratches these days. But how about Amy Winehouse?! Everyone wants her CD! I’ve got it scratch free. Or I could make you a mix of songs I downloaded on iTunes. Wanna trade?
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I’m making some money on eBay, y’all. Anything jean material makes money on eBay apparently. It also doesn’t make good material for making a quilt, which is what I plan to do with the rest of the outgrown baby clothes. So, I sold some jean overalls and jackets that I bought at yard sales when I was pregnant with Noah. I made the money I spent and then some. I’m going to use the money I make to help me pay for my blog remodel! Or that’s just what I say, I’m really doing it because I’m addicted to spending money on eBay and I have to compensate somewhere! I just earned my blue star, which says something about my eBay addiction! 
Well, that’s all I got for now, Folks. Got kind of a stupid post today, but you loves me anyways!
We had our yard sale on Saturday and it was awesome. I was really a bit worried none of my neighbors were going to participate in our “Subdivision Yard Sale”. Mostly because I forked out the money for the Newspaper ads, I hungs the fliers on 70 houses, I made the signs to post all over the town. The story of the Little Red Hen came to mind… No one offered to help hang signs, no one offered to pitch in for the ad costs, even though I had invited people to help with that in my fliers. No one even mentioned participating in the yard sale.
But on Saturday morning I set up, hung the signs, prepared the Lemonade stand for the kids. All of a sudden other people started setting up in their yards and our whole neighborhood started booming. There were people everywhere. I felt a bit excited that I had sort of led such a successful day. We made $150 to boot!
It was bittersweet selling the baby items. There were a couple of times I choked a bit as I watched people walk away with items from my memories. I’d never have another baby in that swing or carseat. I wouldn’t be needing it anymore. But. (Sniff, sniff) I can’t explain it. I felt a connection to those things that were just things. It’s like saying goodbye to a beautiful era, the baby era, and entering into this era of children that just grow too fast.
Some funny, ironic things that happened during the sale:
Bella waits until people are standing at her lemonade stand to announce to her big brother that, “This isn’t lem-nade. This is pee.”
Kids are so funny. Two girls about 9 years old walk up to me, jiggling change in their fists, as I’m setting up the lemonade/cookie stand and ask what kind of cookies we’re selling. I go inside and get the cookies, display them all pretty like on the serving tray, and tell Austin and Bella to hurry outside because their first customers are there. Austin shows them the tray of pretty little cookies. One of the girl curls her nose up and walks away. The other one looks at me all long faced, “we don’t like those kind,” and then joins her friend with noses in the air. Dude. What kind of cookies were you expecting at a yard sale?
One girl about 12 years old repeatedly walks past our house, staring at Austin. He never smiles, she never smiles, neither of them speak to one another. Kids are so funny!
An old man tries to talk Austin out of selling his $5 bb gun. Austin is 100% sure he’s going to sell it. So the old man says, “Well, I don’t think you should sell it, but since you insist, will you take $2?” Austin agrees. I wanted to break out some kung-fu on that old man’s shin. He tries to tell my boy not to sell the gun but then goes and rips him off in the same sentence. Selfish old fart. Same old fart tries the same jook moves on me, and I let him know my prices are firm. Take it or leave it. He leaves it. As he’s walking away, someone buys said item for the price I was asking.
No one wants brand new sexy red patent leather pumps in a cowpoke town. Not even me, since I was the one trying to sell them.
Remember to clean out the purse you are trying to sell. No one wants the purse that has a tampon in the bottom of it. Even if you are selling said purse for $1 and there happens to be a one dollar bill in the side pocket.
And, finally, I’d love to post some pictures of the awesome yard sale event. But. My camera died. MY one-year-old CAMERA DIED, a few days after the warranty expired! I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m so totally bummed. But, I guess I have an extra $150 towards a new one thanks to the sale! Two steps forward, three steps back. Ughhh.
“I didn’t do it. I slobbered on it, but I was just trying to clean it. I stepped on it, but only because it was in my way. Don’t blame me, Momma.”
Hate to toot my own horn, but… I read your blogs today, got all caught up. Then I got bored and everyone here went to bed early tonight. So, I started reading my own archives. I know, I’m a dork. But the Girls Next Door was a re-run and Chelsea Handler isn’t on tonight. Soooo…
Dude. These were my feet a little over a year ago! WTF!? I was SICK, y’all!
I should have been on bedrest and the docs kept telling me that everything was fine. What!? THIS is not fine! Seriously, they thought I was normally a water logged whale!? I had protein in my urine, had all the signs and symptoms of pre-eclampsia and I TOLD them something wasn’t right. Still, they insisted I was fine. And then we wonder why Noah came 6 weeks early? Duh. Put the sick whale woman with protein in her urine on bedrest, doctor.
Anyhow, I had a little bit of fun reading my old posts. Here are my favorites:
Steve Madden Betrayal
The Memorable Firsts
I Never Knew (made me all mooshy and teary)
Mothers with Brain Injuries
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I got these awesome packages in the mail from two Good Mail Girls, PJ & Angel! I also got a sweet postcard from the lovely Annie which made me super happy! I thought I’d wait and post about the week’s mail all at once instead of one by one. But I also forgot to take pictures of the AWESOME stuff I got before me and the fam devoured everything! I feel awful because I so wanted to brag and show you what I got! Angel posted here about all the cool stuff she puts in her packages (feathers, return mail labels, origami, FUN stuff). PJ sent me an American flag, a car freshener, bubble bath, an On the Go drink single (yummy), among other fun stuff! They were such sweet packages and put a huge smile on my face. Thanks so much PJ & Angel! I’m sorry I inhaled your mail without taking pictures first!
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Lastly, I just had to tell you how much I LOVE these “Boom Chicka Wah Wah” commercials. I’m so in love with these commercials that I RUN to the television when I hear them come on. I haven’t laughed this hard with a commercial since, well, actually I’ve never loved a commercial like these. Someone is brilliant in that marketing agency. Brilliant.
If you haven’t seen these, please go check it out! I can’t figure out how to get the player on my blog, so you’ll have to visit youtube here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vgxxAwue7Fs
and here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=B8eUGtZr4Co
I was doing my usual daily gag on Celebrity gossip when I stumbled across this post about Mandy Moore. No he didn’t call her “freakishly tall”!? What is wrong with this world? The girl is 5′10″ and she’s a freak!? I’m soooo taking that personal. (**Actually I’m not, I just want to have some fun)
Is a woman not feminine if she is over a certain height? I think he’s scared. And he should be because my size 9 stiletto might put a hurtin’ on his bitty ego. He’s probably 5′6″ tall, bald, with a hairy back. So, in her defense, in my defense, in the defense of every woman who, as a child, drank lots of hormone induced milk and steroid pumped McDonald’s cheeseburgers:
Dear Mr. Short Stuff,
I’m not humored by your insults to Mandy or the tall women readers who used to read your celebrity gossip site. I’m sorry that you are sad about being a short man. I’m also sorry that a tall trophy wife will never fit under your arm. But there are a lot of women out there that would, if you quit with the insults, love you just the way you are. Even if they do have to stare down at your “freakishly” bald head. There is nothing that she could do to make herself shorter for you, but there is something out there could help you with your dilemma. Because it is a man’s world, I present to you:
Since you are the kind of guy who has obviously got a thing for us freakishly tall women, but probably haven’t got a lick of tact for getting chicks, I’d like to introduce you to the best alternative you’ll be able to get at the rate you’re going. Introducing the Sigourney Weaver blow-up doll:
She’s a Whopping 6 foot tall in real life, but since you are so into “freaks”, they went and made this sexy alternative a little bigger. Just for you.
And since wee little bald men like yourself often feel like less a man with the tall Geena Davis types, they also offer a little blue pill that can help you with your inferiority issues. They can’t make a gal shorter for all the little men in the world, but they can make a man bigger. Or better. Or whatever this pill is supposed to do. I’m sure another insecure male created this sucker just for you. Nevermind Cancer, HIV, or even West Nile Virus. All the male scientist of the world are busy working on this kind of stuff, just so you don’t have to feel bitter:
So, Wee Mean Man, let’s not shake too many fingers. Let’s not call too many names. I have an appreciation for short men, but not so much for hits below the waist. But that’s obviously the best you can do since your arms probably can’t reach above the waist, huh?
With that said, you should be nicer. There are a lot of really tall, beautiful, and feminine women out there. Alot more of us than there are of you freakishly mean fellows. And we don’t need a little blue pill to kick some butt, Buddy!
Sincerely,
Stepherz
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** Just thought I’d add, for anyone who stumbles across this but doesn’t know me and my humor– I actually love people and I don’t really care what size they come! I even like the little guys. I have two of them and adore them! As far as baldness goes, my husband’s noggin’ is lacking hair and I LOVES me some shiney baldness! Just wanted to add that. You know. For all the SyngSyngs out there…
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