September 21st, 2007

It was murder

Part One

“Sometimes I can hear her crying, it wakes me from my slumber. I wake Jeremy up to hear the sounds. He sits up in bed, hears nothing. ‘Go back to sleep, Steph. You’re dreaming.’

But I’m not dreaming. She visits. I don’t know why she comes in mom’s stead. But she does. Sometimes I hear her cries. Other times I see her shadow walking through the house. She’ll pause to look in on me, while the others are sleeping, and then carries on down the hallway. I used to be uncomfortable with this. But she’s harmless, and one day maybe I’ll know why she’s here…”

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So much was left undone when mom died. There was so little time for healing and closure. We were suddenly thrusted into the different realm, I can’t explain it. But if you’ve ever dealt with murder, you probably understand what I mean.

The adults didn’t censor anything. Now that I am adult, I know there are just some things that children shouldn’t see, hear, or understand.

Before I tell you this story, I want you to have some history. Through a child’s eyes, because that was what I was when life changed forever for me…

Helen was my mom’s bestfriend for years, having met in nursing school when I was a toddler. Helen had a little boy, Greg, who was my age and a husband, James, who she married after Greg’s birth. I always knew James wasn’t Greg’s father, but Greg didn’t know that. It might have been apparent to most adults, as Greg had all of the beautiful physical features of his Cherokee Native American ancestry on his mother’s side, but none of the white characteristics of his “father”, James. Helen and James eventually had 2 children together, Allison and Darryl.

Helen and James had marital problems. Though not the normal strife and struggles a marriage sees. Right before the end, James found out about an extramarital affair Helen had been having for many years. In fact, the affair had gone on for more than half of their marriage. Helen was sleeping with a doctor she worked with at the hospital for some 7 years or so, and somehow James found out. He didn’t handle the news well.

My memories of James were never positive ones. He scared me. He was very strong, and had a scary and intimidating look about him. He was very stern and hateful, to everyone. I don’t remember him ever being nice to me, and I don’t remember ever being comfortable in his presence.

Helen woke one night, just after James found out abou tthe affair, with what she described as “the stinging feeling of a needle.” She immediately thought James was injecting her with something. She went into fight or flight, and found that James was holding a stun gun in his hand. He was holding her down, shocking her all over her body. Normally a stun gun would do just that– stun a person into being unable to move. However, James had used old batteries out of his son’s toy to use in the stun gun. The gun was burning her and bruising her as she fought to get away. She screamed for help. She hoped that her son, Greg, would hear and go for help. Her cries were unanswered. She fought her way to the bathroom, kicking and screaming. James was relentless, and kept hitting her and burning her with the stun gun. She kicked the toilet off of the floor trying to fight James off of her. She knew she was going to die.

He didn’t kill her. He left her swollen, burned, and bruised all over her body. She took the next day off of work to see her attorney, Mr. Barry, who took pictures and documented the whole incident. She also went to her doctor, where they took more pictures. She was afraid for her life. She didn’t leave him because she knew he’d try to take the kids from her. He had promised that he would if she tried to go. She wanted to leave. She didn’t want to work things out with him. I’m pretty sure she had loathed him for many years, way before this night that he left her bruised and battered.

She told mom that if he ever killed her, that she would make sure to get his skin under her nails for evidence. She wanted my mom to know that, so that he wouldn’t get away with it. I’m sure Helen didn’t know my mom was going to die with her.

When my mom’s and Helen’s bodies were exhumed for the second autopsy, they took the DNA samples from under their nails. James’ DNA was found under both women’s nails. Only in 1989 would the courts let a man walk free with this kind of evidence.

After James’ arrest, the investigators found specialty books and magazines in James’ attic on how to solicite a hitman, how to pass a lie detector test, and how to cover your tracks after you murder someone. Interesting reading material for an innocent man, no?

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Part 2 to follow…

** Edited to add: My laptop’s monitor is going out and is getting worse every day. If I don’t post again, it is because I finally had to put the laptop in the shop. This could take up to 10 business days! You SUCK, Office Depot. Thank you VERY much, Office Depot.**

  • Post Date: Friday, September 21st, 2007
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19 comments so far

Steph this just makes me cry. It makes me sick. I am so sorry. Your mom died the day after the lady down the street was murdered by her live in boyfriend (Oct. 16, 2006). I will never forget that date and I send extra hugs and love your way the 17th.

Tori :)
September 21st, 2007 at 10:14 pm

I am so sorry that you had to experience this, Steph. And I thank you for sharing it with us.

Nell
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:15 am

I’m reading, I’ve just got nothing to say.

Willowtree
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:43 am

This story tears my heart apart. I am so sorry that you had the experience and that you lost your mother. Its impossible to understand how someone could be so cruel. I hope writing about it helps a little.

Mel
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:46 am

its really horrifying and so sad that you had to experience this kind of loss … my heart breaks just reading about it .. hugs honey ..

daisies
September 22nd, 2007 at 2:41 am

I posted on one of your other blogs about being one of Helen’s co-workers. To hear you describe the things James did to Helen brings back many horrific memories. But, there are also good memories of her too. Her baby daughter at the time of Helen’s death, I think was just about 1 yr old or so I think,(my memory fails me on some specifics) but she was born on my daughter’s birthday on June 23rd. I can still remember all of us getting together to have a baby shower for her and how my daughter wanted to come meet her since they had the same birthday. I often think of that baby growing up without her mother and wonder how she is doing. It is just so terrible what was done to your mother and Helen. I am just so sorry.

Kathy Sirianni
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:13 am

I am sorry, I don’t know what else to say. Thank you for sharing with us .

Do you have another blog ?

sissi
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:13 am

not sure how you turned out so well balanced. hugs.

theotherbear
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm

Wow… just … wow.

Stephieface
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:19 am

I’m sorry Steph. I wish I could put my feelings about this into words.

Sophia
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:48 am

As I continued to read, my sadness was overlapped by rage. How on Earth could a jury acquit a monster like that… with that kind of evidence?

In any case, how horrific to have to live with that loss and those memories, Steph. Are you still close to/in touch with Helen’s childen?

Meghan
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:45 pm

OMG surely this maniac didn’t get away with this?…and your poor mom was an innocent victim caught up in her friend’s drama…oh honey. No wonder your mama walks and cries. I’ve always heard that when you die in a situation like her’s that sometimes you can’t let go yet to the other side. Maybe she wants to avenge her death. But I feel so much for you. I am such a believer in things like that anyway and being terrified I’d have to face a ghost and bless your heart you do. I guess you can take it if it is your mother and you know she doesn’t want to hurt you.

You poor poor girl. I’ve only had one other friend who has known something so awful that close up. I know you have a part of that with you everyday. I am so sorry. Have you ever considered having a professional come and try to help bridge between you and your mom and maybe she can get peace and move on? People would probably think you’re insane but what do they know….

I had no idea….again I am so sorry. I’ve always known you were a very strong person. But I had no idea just how incredibly strong you really are.

Deana
September 24th, 2007 at 1:56 am

I am so sorry. (Everyone else has said things so nicely, all I can do is agree and send you hugs and blessings.)

my float
September 24th, 2007 at 8:44 am

Wow. Like many I’m speechless, very sorry for your loss and not sure of what the hell to say! Damn!

Cheri
September 24th, 2007 at 5:09 pm

I am so sorry. I honestly have no idea what to say except that I am so sorry you had to go through this.

Lauren
September 25th, 2007 at 4:38 am

I am so sorry for Helen and your Mom. What madness to suffer through. I am glad they had the evidence under their nails.

I am sorry you’ve had to suffer the build up and after math of their deaths, Stepherz. You are a strong woman.

Gina
September 25th, 2007 at 2:29 pm

Steph- I have read this several times. I just don’t know what to say.

Special K Toni
September 28th, 2007 at 12:43 pm

[…] I’ve had a few inquiries for the next parts to “It was Murder“. I don’t mean to be suspenseful, I’m just debating whether I should save that for NaBloPoMo. It’s always been in my plan to write the whole story all down (and it could make a book– there’s that much), and that might encourage me to do it… We’ll see. If not, I’ll be posting Part 3 soon. Thanks for you interest, it’s healthy for me to tell the story. […]

stepherz.com » Blog Archive » DeLurk Yo
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:20 pm

I only knew the surface, and in my adolescence did not consider what the implications might be. How do you heal from such sadness? You covered your pain when we were younger. Today, putting your story into words is therapeutic. Having an audience interact with you while you tell it…now that’s powerful. Bless you my friend.

Carroll
May 29th, 2008 at 3:45 pm



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