Here’s the thing
I’ve been in this bloggy slump for a few months, and I’ve not been a very good blog friend to many of you. Remember when I read your blogs every day? I bet you do, and I miss having more time to keep up with you.
But I’ve realized over the last few months that I have a tendency to use my computer too much. For instance, I wake in the morning and can immediately think of a reason to check the news, the weather, causes for leg twitches, how tall Tom Cruise is, etc, etc. etc. Some doctors would call me an addict. I seriously cannot go an entire day without checking my email or blog. And maybe that’s not a bad thing, but I haven’t always been that way. And I never realized it but perhaps I let it distract me too much. I rely on it a little too much.
Jeremy said something to me the other day that got me feeling kind of bad. He’s said it before now, but the way he said it this time kind of made me mooshy…
“Maybe if I painted a keyboard on my chest, I could get as much attention from you as that laptop…”
Ugh. Oh. My heart! I’d NEVER want anyone to feel neglected in my family! And as many times a I’ve tried to use the computer “in moderation”, I somehow tend to use it excessively even when I don’t think I am. And that would probably be alright if Jeremy liked computers or games or television more than he does. But he likes me more. And that’s something special.
The other night Jeremy bet me that Tom Cruise is taller than 5′9 and I insisted he was a bit shorter because I had read it somewhere on the internet somewhere. So, I looked it up on the internet to prove him wrong. And sure enough, he’s like 5′7 or something. After I laughed at Jeremy and flexed my muscles for being right (I usually am), I closed the top of my laptop. I then decided I wanted to open it back up and check to see if a payment went through in my bank account. I opened the lid… Nothing. No lights, no sounds, nothing. It was DEAD!
My computer died again! And I’m sort of happy about it because maybe I can recondition myself to need it less if I just don’t fix it for awhile. Or maybe it’s D-E-A-D and that means I’ll need a new computer. And I’m not going to buy a new computer! No. And would that be all that awful?
So, I don’t want to be hasty and say that I’m done with this blog. But I might be. And I don’t want to be done with y’all because I loves ya! So, I just wanted to let you know what’s going on, why I’ll be visiting less & writing less & such for awhile. I’ll miss you, your loyalty, your friendship. And that’s why I can’t commit to never being on the computer again, just less of a junkie about it. I LOVE my blog. So, if you can stand it, I just need a bit more time to figure out what’s going to happen.
Mainly I have a vacation coming up and a few other terrible expenses looming over me, so the cost of a new computer is just not a priority.
I’ll post again to let you know what happened in the ultrasound on the 1st. Until then, hugs & wish me an easy trip through internet rehab and recovery! I’ve got the shakes and twitches already. 
Posted by: stepherz | 07-25-2008 | 05:07 PM
Posted in: Just Me | Wife
Well, I have to admit it has been fun catching up with you after all these years. I don’t read blogs, but I’ve read yours. Your stories, insights and history have given me some personal insight on myself. As a teenager you think you know it all, right? And I’ve carried those perceptions for years. But then I read your blog and realized you’re no more the same person than I am. I may still think of myself as a kid in a lot of ways, but I’m a 32 year old adult, living, working, existing…so consumed with my own world that I forgot my peers have grown and changed as well. And four kids…now that will change you. I was talking to a fried on the phone after several months…his kid is 8 mos. now. “How has it changed you?” I asked. He said the typical, wonderful things. And as much as I pretend it’s ok that I’m probably not gonna be a daddy, it’s not all good. It’s a dream that’s been taken away. Health issues will not allow us to get pregnant and I don’t want to adopt just to put a child in daycare while we both work. And so, as the peers around me become parents like yourself and less available to meet my needs as a friend, I am faced with the dire truth staring me in the face. Without children to rear and love I perhaps will miss out on the biggest growing opportunity in the entire human existence.
Perhaps I can pick up where you’re leaving off. Apparently I have a lot to say.
I understand My hubby told me last night he was going to hide my lap top from me. Anyway, just wanted to say I understand and we’ll miss you, and I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and the pregnancy. Come back and give us an update when you can.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Okay, I just had to get that out. I hope some kind gnomes bring you a new laptop, or at least fix your old one. I suppose this is a good excuse to should pick up the phone soon, huh?
I don’t even know how the word “should” ended up in that last sentence.
Oh, Man…. I’m gonna miss you. (but I understand) You have a great vacation, and I hope that you can update us soon on your appointment at the doctors… I’ve been praying that all is o.k. with your pregnancy… Take care,
~ Teresa ~
I’m going to miss you….
Update when you can
Oh, by the way, you didn’t write your love story
for us.
Alabama Grandmother
i have the same problem - spending too much time on the internets. i mainly read blogs (including celebrity gossip). i don’t post on my own blog that often (my life’s too boring). please don’t shut down your blog. i know family comes first but you have to post at least once a week
Oh Steph…don’t go!! I love reading your blog! But I do understand…I spend waaaaaay too much time on my computer, maybe we all need to have a little break. But please promise to come back
xoxox
enjoy your time away … i often think of doing the same but then i realize that if i haven’t given it up after five years, i likely never will, hahaha … but i do go through periods where i stay away more than i am here and the thing is my hubby is as geeky as me so we often hang out with our laptops doing our thing and checking out each others thing and its all okay
I understand your pain. My husband accuses me all the time of spending more time on the computer than with him. In fact, I should be in bed right now.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Continued blessings!
Adriann
I can relate, I feel I am addicted and that the use of my computer has become too toxic.
I am trying to spend less time on it but it’s hard.
To me, the solution would be to erase my blog so I would not be tempted and I would have to forced myself to not visit other blog, I dream to totally disappear, I don’t know if I can do it! This is awful!
I don’t know what to say. I will miss you. Please keep in touch someway- k?
Yes, hubby-guilt. I get it too!
We will be right here waiting!
How about a once weekly update instead of daily?
Good luck with the next ultrasound!
Many times I’ve thought of dropping mine. Then I remembered that I wanted it as a journal. Did you know companies will print out your posts in a book like form. I found one that would do a whole year for like $75 dollars. In a way that seems high but then I thought of all the pictures and things there too and I would have all of it right in my hands.
Anyway I did my blog for me because I love having my brothers to keep up with his boys crazy stunts and tales. He quit trying to hit the big numbers years ago and keeps his simple, to the point and our family (extended too) enjoys reading it and keeping up with family living here.
I have decided not to try to “chase” down new blog buddies but just keep an eye on the ones I have. I can’t visit everyday anymore but I try to get over once a week at least and catch up. I stagger people. I’ll never have a super big blog but hey, I can’t keep up with that anyway. Life is too short and I am too busy to sit here all the time.
So maybe you could do that too, just journal maybe once a week just for you and show us the kids, etc. and keep us up to date!
If you get to come see one of us once a month so be it! We’ll still be friends!!!
Stepherz, I love you too! And I love your blog. I look forward to hearing an update on the baby… I wish I had a spare computer to send you!