I’m so UBER lazy. LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.

Apparently it’s shocking (to “some people”) that I make my teenager do chores at home. He does the dishes after dinner (GASP), he mows the grass on Saturdays (Wha!?), he even occasionally vacuums the 3 rugs in our house before going off to school (NOOOO!). A regular cinderfuckinfella I’ve made him into, eh?

But then there was this question that lingered… “What do you do all day, Stephanie, if you have your son do all the housework? A whole lotta nothing!?”

Hahahahhhahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Wait a minute. Let me catch my breath. Hahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. That was funny.

Well, there’s this little thing called, uhhh, raising children. There’s the playdates. There’s the swim lessons. Doctor and dentist appointments. Park Play several times a week. There’s the Library Day. And MOPS every other Tuesday. There’s Gymnastics, ballet, and an occasional Spanish class. I also happened to have a 4 year old who can nearly read and a 3 year old who is potty trained. They didn’t do that on their own. I’m raising prodigies, remember? I spend time with my children. And they take up, ohhh, A FEW HOURS OF MY DAY!

Then there’s the eBay business. This is my second eBay business. There’s the summer money maker and the winter money maker, of which I sell on different accounts. I’d tell you more about those but I wouldn’t want to share too may details on how I make my money. Anyways, I’ve been busy. I’ve sold more than 150 planter bags in last month and a half. And I didn’t even have to pester my friends to buy Avon or Pampered Chef, I just sold my product to people who actually wanted it and weren’t buying out of charity. Novel idea!

There’s laundry. There’s grocery shopping. And there’s the house. The house is a full time job by itself. There’s chickens. There’s dogs. There’s veg gardens (yes, more than one). There’s my soapmaking and canning. There’s the baking. There’s this really weird thing I have called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that requires that I sweep, mop, and vacuum DAILY. If after I do these things I find a corner or nook that was overlooked, I can’t just “let it go”, I actually have to break the broom and mop back out. Once a month I break out the carpet cleaner and clean my rugs, at the very least cleaning the stains if not the whole rug. I also pull all of the couch covers off of each and every cushion and then wash them and put them back on. This is no simple task because half of the cushions have fluff, not a cushion that just pulls out. So I have to remove this fluff, put it in trash bags, wash the cover, and then put the fluff back in. I also take all of our comforters to the laundry mat once a month and wash and dry them. This is religious. I don’t ever break the cycle. My house is not always sterile, I have 3 kids! But if it’s not I am normally pretty uncomfortable and plotting my next cleaning adventure. If my teenaged kid has to vacuum a rug or feed a dog once in awhile, fuck it. CALL DSS!

When I dream at night, it’s not of me sitting still… laying on a beach… sipping on a marg. I dream about running from brooms, running on treadmills, or baking pies and wiping noses while running from zombies, mother-in-laws, and x-lovers wives.

In my spare time??? I play on the computer. I also sew clothes for my kids and on Thursday I sewed up new accent pillows for my couch (with Amy Butler fabric, yummy). Tomorrow, after I weed the garden, mulch it, throw a birthday party for my Nooskers, wash a few loads of laundry, and clean the chicken pen, I’m going to sew up a baby carrier for my Caleb. And I’m not sewing one because I can’t afford to buy one or because none of my blog friends have gifted me one, I am sewing it because I want to. Yeah, all of that WITH a 30 week pregnant belly that weighs, well, not very much because I’ve burned too many calories this pregnancy to gain any weight.

Yeah, that’s me… L-A-Z-Y.

Posted by: stepherz | 06-27-2009 | 03:06 AM
Posted in: Just Me | Comments (9)

Hurry Up

Can you grill that any faster, I’m hongry!?

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Don’t you love backseat grillers?

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Speaking of men and food. I heard the greatest quote EVER the other day. I’d like ot give credit where credit is due but I don’t know who’s quote this is. Brilliant anyways:

No woman will ever be truly satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.”

Posted by: stepherz | 06-17-2009 | 03:06 AM
Posted in: General | Comments (6)

Ambien. Wowza.

Oh Goodness. That Ambien is a wicked one. So I spent the night in the hospital last night, pretty much hyped up from adrenaline (from worrying about early labor) and on that Terb medicine to stop my contractions. Doc suggested I take an Ambien for sleep. I was all, “OK, SURE!”

Well, I arrived at the hopital at dinner time and they gave me a turkey sandwich and some Sun Chips for dinner. But my four year old ended up eating it all. So what happens when you take Ambien on an empty stomach!?

Check this: When I had my son 3 years ago there as a room on the L&D floor that was called the “Snack Room”– it was a room with juices and waters and snacky foods for the expecting/new moms/hungry dads to grab as they wish. Well, now it’s not a snack room (thank you RECESSION). Now it’s an empty room with a microwave and some tea bags. Blah.

Well, after I took the Ambien, I must have fallen asleep. But in the middle of the night I wake up in the snack room (which was directly across the hall from my room– away from nurses station) rummaging through the empty cabinets and cursing because “Damnit, I’m hungry. Where’s the snacks?” I couldn’t see though– was squinting my eyes to focus on the empty cabinets (ambien affects vision?) and I kept losing my balance and having to grab walls. I remembered making a cup of hot tea since there was nothing else and then making myself stumble back to bed. The next morning, I remembered doing this but thought it surely was a dream. But, low and behold, there was the Styrofoam cup of untouched tea next to my hospital bed!

Now I know: Don’t take Ambien. But if I ever have to, make sure I’m not pregnant and hungry when I do, or I’m bound to end up walking all the way to McDonald’s in my hospital gown!

And I’m back at home now and Caleb and I are OK. I will tell y’all about everything later.

Posted by: stepherz | 06-14-2009 | 02:06 AM
Posted in: Baby Number 4 | Comments (3)

In the hospital…

I went to walmart this evening and started cramping while shopping. Decided to run to the restroom thinking maybe my bladder was just full. I noticed some blood in my panties and when I wiped. Left WalMart and went to L&D. Started getting contractions every 2-3 minutes & strong. They did testing and ultrasound. Cervix closed and no funneling. Fibranectin (spelling) test came back negative– thank GOD. They were talking about having to helicopter me to the hospital in Denver there for a little bit. This hospital is not equipped for 27 weeker…

They put me on that turb medicine that stops contractions and it worked. Albeit this medicine does aa number to the ol’ ticker. I’m a big jitter monster. No more contractions though. I have to stay overnight. We don’t know what the blood was about…

Not sure what tomorrow will hold for us but the nurse just gave me some Ambien for sleep and I guess I’ll try to get some zzz’s. Pray my cervix stays closed and that the contractions stay away… I’ll update tomorrow hopefully… Goodnight!

OMGoodness, do I look like crap because I feel like crap? This has been an intense day…:-)

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Posted by: stepherz | 06-13-2009 | 03:06 AM
Posted in: Baby Number 4 | Comments (8)

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