Starting to worry…
I’m a little beside myself with worry and I’m trying to just relax but this is a pretty substantial worry. We’re in a pickle suddenly and I’m not sure the solution…
Ok, so Jeremy is approaching the end of one job and has a bid in on another. It’s a pivotal important time. Basically he will be starting this new job right when Caleb is due. So missing work is really a bad thing. I mean, in construction things have to be timed. And the timing is really bad. But if he gets this other job, we’ll be grateful and he needs to go because building is scarse right now. We had hoped that the job he’s on would last longer (until October), which would have meant Jeremy would miss a couple of weeks of work at the end of this job, not the beginning of the new one. Ugh.
Jeremy’s mom has offered to watch the kids for a few days when Caleb is born. But she’s not been feeling well lately and we’re thinking it might be bad idea not to have another plan. Her watching the kids for a few days is going to be very helpful and we’re grateful, but we’re needing help for a few weeks (from what the doc says). I know I’m tough and will do what I have to do, but assuming that I can take care of Noah’s high needs and a newborn after a few days after a c-section is a little presumptive. I don’t want to delay healing because I’m over-doing it.
Doc is saying that I’ll need help for 2 weeks and I can’t drive or lift for even longer. I’m assuming he knows what he’s talking about. I’ve never had a section, so I don’t know what the healing is like. But it could also be that the doc doesn’t understand that we don’t HAVE HELP. You know, most of my pregnant friends in my Yahoo Discussion Group have some family support. But we’ve never had that. They have mothers, sisters, or mother-in-laws that are coming to stay with them for awhile or will come get the older kids pretty often. But we don’t have that kind of support system. This is going to be interesting…
Soooo, I could fly my sister out here. Problem being that she’d have to miss work and I’d have to pay her for that missed work plus her plane ticket. I’d love to have her here, for sure. But even if she were REALLY helpful, which is debatable, I’m worried that it would be more of a distraction from our bonding time as a family since I haven’t seen my sister in 2 years. Make sense? Ok, then there’s the ticket issue. If I buy a ticket for the day the section is scheduled, Caleb will end up coming early. Then I’ll be stuck with tickets that aren’t timed right. If I wait until I know when Caleb is coming then I will have to buy a last minute ticket which is twice the price…
I can try to get them into daycare for a few weeks but that’s really iffy. Daycares are super full around here and there may not be a spot open when we need it.
Sooo, I’m trying to figure it all out. Pray for us. I mean, I guess the ONLY concern I have is how bad a c-section really is. I think I’m tough and will be fine after 1 week. But I hear women talk about feeling like their insides might pop out and how painful it is just to go from laying to sitting position. And then I heard you aren’t even supposed to drive for the first month. Is that because it’s sooooo painful that you shouldn’t drive? I’m just not wanting to assume I’ll be super woman and be ready to take on the world after 1 week if other women were still in bed from the surgery after 1 week. Catch what I’m saying?
So tell me, if you’ve had a section, how did you feel after a week? Any other encouragment or advice you guys have is welcome!
Thanks y’all!
Posted by: stepherz | 07-24-2009 | 03:07 PM
Posted in: Baby Number 4
I am sorry about your dilemma. I wish I could offer help… the physical kind… come take care of you. I know you’ll figure it out. I’ll say a prayer for you and your sweet family. HUGS!!!!!!!!
I just talked to Noah’s daycare and she thinks she’ll be able to watch the kids for a few weeks. WHAT a relief. And then I talked to some other moms who had c-sections and they said they were fine after a week to take care of their other kids. Yayyy! I’m starting to feel better now knowing that I’ll heal fast, and that we have a place for the kids if I’m feeling awful. Jeremy and I both hate asking for help and this way we won’t have to…
Have you thought about calling local churches? So many churches have tremendous, caring members who LOVE an opportunity to help in a time of need. Forget about pride… call ‘em. Ask them if they can recommend a community resource if they’re not able to help. You can do it girl…
And I had 2 c-sections. Ya, you’re sore. But with babies that were 10lbs and 11.5lbs, not lifting wasn’t EVER an option for this Momma! You can do it… just try really hard not to OVERdue it.
Hang in there wonderwoman! This is a beyooootiful problem to have
never forget that!
I would so drive to CO to help you out if you needed it - I dont’ have a job now and if I don’t in October and you need some help - let me know
oh no. i hope it all works out for you. austin should be a big help though i’m sure! why are you having a c-section this time? if i may ask that is, considering–you know
i understand if you do mind me asking–sorry if you do! but either way, i truly hope it all works out and you and caleb are able to have a full recovery. good luck!
We’re not goign to talk about my first c section cause it was a mess. We’re going to talk about my second c section. it was scheduled and it was also a tubal, so no labor first, which makes recovery way better. I was in the hospital for about 40 hours total then I wanted to go home. We have no family around so it was just us too. Jeff took off about a week and a half, and I was ready for him to go back to work when he did. My hardest thing was breastfeeding Anthony and keeping Amelia from destroying the house. We really didn’t have that bad of a time home by ourselves when Jeff went back to work. At around 7 months pregnant, I started telling Amelia I had to stop picking her up at all. So when Ant was born she was used to me not picking her up. Oh and I drove 6 days after, but it hurt. I really wanted to go trick or treating with Amelia but couldn’t walk all over town 6 days post op with a newborn, so I followed them in the car. By two weeks I was driving no problem.
One more thing to think about is if your hubby is going to stay in the hospital with you and where the kids will go if he does. With Anthony there was no nursery for him to go to ( they did take him to the nicu for me for a few hours so I could rest a bit.) One of my friends is awseome and kept Amelia over night for two nights then brought her to the hospital to visit. Anyway, the first day I couldn’t get out of bed because I still had the catheter and such, so I had to have someone there with me to get Anthony in and out of the bassinet for me.
Hope some of that helps.
Thanks guys, I feel so much better about it all. That’s why I love writing here– I can put it out there and let it go off my chest. It helps. I talked to some moms in my discussion group who have little ones and are having c-sections. About 4 of them said their husbands can only miss one week too. They had c-section with their previous babies and felt good about being able to handle things after 1 week. So that makes me feel better. I’ll be just fine. Tired, sure. But I’ll survive. Austin will have to help keep the domestics going after school, Jeremy will cook when he gets home, and I’ll just take it easy once they get home from work/school. My sister will be there too to help me entertain children!
Thanks for your sweetness you guys! Cheri, thanks for offering to help! You’re awesome!
Jenny, I’m having a c-section because I don’t want to have another massive baby tear me the way Bella did. Noah came so early that he was too small to worry about tearing. But Caleb, if he’s a full termer, is likely to be even bigger than Bella was because he’s a boy. My 4th degree tear healed beautifully after Bella but things had the potential to go very wrong and I want to avoid that with Caleb. And, he’s still breech. So there’s another reason. Even if he got head down, we’d still do a section. But the breech issue makes it even more a reality because they don’t allow women with breech babies to do vag births here. Thanks for your well wishes.
Oh thank you Steph, that helps a lot. It’s good to hear from someone who has had a c-section. Sounds like I’ll still be in some pain after week 1 but not so much that I can’t get out of bed. I pictured being bed ridden for 2 weeks. I’ve never had abdominal surgery, so I have nothing to compare it to.
The nursery at our hospital will keep the baby when mom needs sleep and will bring baby back for feedings. I may take advantage of that. I remember not being able to sleep so well with the babies in my room because I’d listen to them breathing and wake up with such excitement to stare at them. We’ll see if I can sleep with Caleb in the nursery. I bet I’ll sleep even less!
I just remember my 4th degree tear with Bella. I can’t even explain how bad that was without giving WAY to much information. I went home electively in less than 24 hours. But once I got home the pain really kicked in and I was miserable. Miserable from the pain and even worse because my implants make engorgement feel like death is coming. So I was sleep deprived, had the baby blues, my bottom felt like it was falling out, and the boobs went literally from a small C to two MASSIVE watermelons because I was so engorged. I remember the second I realized my milk was in I pulled off my top and Jeremy busted out laughing, “GOOD GOD, WOMAN!” and I thought it was funny too (and porn star cool) until I tried to latch Bell on for her feeding. OMG! Your body just goes through so much from it all, and that’s without a c-section.
Now Noah, he was a cinch. I knew what I was doing with him and didn’t really with Bella. So I’m thinking Caleb will be a cinch too. Fingers crossed! Thanks for your insight Steph!
Steph, with all honesty, and I’m so not trying to scare you, but you’ll NEED to take it easy for 4 weeks, at the minimum after the c-section. And by take it easy, I mean NO driving, NOOOO-OOOOHHH lifting (not even your young kids) and most of all, you need that time to heal.
C-sections are major surgery. A week after my surgery? I still was very, very weak. I needed some help if I was standing for long periods. I felt like I needed help to get out of bed.
Yes I was sitting up by the next day and walking around (slowly and hunched over…remember, they cut through EVERYTHING down there…Abs? What ab muscles??) by the second day, I was still sore (not enough for strong narcs, but sore enough to ask for Advil) at day 5 or 6.
You’ll need help. If it has to be your sister, let it be her. But you’ll need someone there.
(BTW, in the state of CT, it’s illegal for anyone to drive before week 6 following a c-section. Fear is, you’ll tear your scar and possibly bleed to death before help can come if you are in an accident. Makes sense, since your steering wheel is close proximity to the scar. Anyways, listen if your doc says to wait.)
If you have more questions, feel free to email me. Everyone is different when it comes to healing after surgery. I absolutely recommend c-sections for those in need of it, but there are concerns and you should be careful.